Outsiders 16.1

A Hellborn and a Hard Place, Part 1

"Kiva?"

For a brief moment, surprise overrode everything else Valerie was feeling as she was pulled into a fierce hug by her dragonblood friend. Even before ending up as a public enemy of the Chosen, Valerie hadn't expected to ever see Kiva again after leaving Shadefall. But more than that, Kiva, a waitress in her father's tavern, had just shot at one of the Chosen's elites.

"Jose told us about what you did in Lochmire Keep, but I never would have thought—" Valerie wasn't even sure where to start with that, so she switched tactics. "What happened?"

Kiva drew in a deep breath. "After I heard what happened to you guys, something in me just . . . snapped. I had to do something. It started with just throwing up your family crest, but things escalated. It turned out a lot of people in Shadefall felt the way I did, and before I knew it, I was teaching myself to shoot to prepare for our first raid."

"What about the Chosen's authority?"

"It's not easy to work around it, believe me," Kiva said. "Which is just one more reason I'm really glad to see you."

There was a depth of relief in Kiva's voice that Valerie wasn't prepared for, and it made her realize that as surreal as this was for her, it must have been even worse for Kiva. It had been an entire year since Kiva had seen Valerie last, and she'd spent most of that thinking Valerie was dead.

Kiva went on. "Jose's our eyes and ears inside the army. When he told me he'd found you, I came as fast as I could."

"Yes, she was very concerned, it was quite moving," Jose said. "Let us discuss this when we are further from the raging forest fire and still alive axe murderer."

"I think I'm starting to like you," Xigbar said. "You speak common sense."

"He has his moments. And we should go. Arden's in bad shape, and if that elite has more friends nearby, we're screwed," Kiva said. "Valerie, where's List?"

She asked the question even as she got to work on a stretcher for Arden and asked Jose for help. Absorbed in the task, it took her a moment to realize Valerie hadn't answered. Instead, the huntress was staring at the forest behind them, worry clear on her face.

"Kiva," she eventually said,"can you and Jose help Dr. Siren?"

Kiva left the construction of the stretcher to Jose as new concern took her. "Valerie?"

"List and Kaleb got separated from us," Valerie explained. "I have to go back for them."

"Seperated?" Xigbar scoffed. "They fell off a fucking cliff. They're dead, which is what we're going to be if we don't get the fuck out of here."

Exhausted, half of her remaining family lying half dead at her feet, the other half missing and possibly dead, Valerie finally ran out of patience for Xigbar.

"I get it!" she snapped. "You're a selfish asshole who thinks for some reason that's something to be proud of, and you don't care about anything but saving your own skin. But List is my sister, and Kaleb has saved my life more than once. They might be dead, but they might be alive, and if I was the one who went over that cliff, either of them would come for me!"

Valerie had never thought about Kaleb in those terms before, but even voicing the thought for the first time, she knew it to be true. In the short time she'd known him, Kaleb had shown Valerie who he was and how he responded to the others in danger, over and over. He'd covered for them, and them for him. Because that was how this was supposed to work. If Xigbar didn't want to see that, Valerie couldn't make him. But she was done waiting for him to get with the program.

"Turn your nose up and pretend you're too smart to care if you want, run away if you want, but if that's how you want to be, then just leave now, because I don't want to work with someone who thinks like you do, and nobody else does either. But I'm guessing you already know that, because if there was anybody who still wanted to work with you, you'd have never needed to mooch off us to begin with."

For most of her lashing out, Xigbar had looked prepared to offer a sardonic dismissal at the first opportunity. But on her last line, his face suddenly went very placid. Distantly, Valerie noted that'd she'd likely struck a nerve there.

That happened in the back of her mind, somewhere separate from everything immediate where she could analyze things with a bit less stress and passion coloring her thoughts. In the moment, Valerie was mostly just satisfied to have finally knocked that smug look off his face for once. And now that she had, she put him to the side in her mind. He was no longer her priority.

"Kiva?" Valerie asked.

The dragonblood, who was still wearing a look somewhere between stunned and impressed at Valerie's eruption, nodded. "Jose and I have a quick exit prepped to get us back to Shadefall. But once we take it, that's it. You'll be out here alone."

Valerie considered this for a moment. "List and Kaleb will probably need help too. I hate to ask, but—"

"We'll stick around here as long as we can," Kiva said. "The fire's not coming this way yet, and there's no telling how long it'll take the elite or anyone else to pick up our trail. We can watch Arden and give you time."

Valerie's attention fell to her mentor. Arden's breaths were shallow and sporadic. They'd bandaged his external wounds, but he'd absolutely have a few broken bones at least. If he was bleeding internally . . .

"If he gets worse, go. Save him. I'll manage on my own," Valerie said, and Kiva nodded her understanding.

Valerie took stock of herself. Aside from a growing sense of exhaustion and terror for the people she loved, she was in decent enough shape. Thanks to her bottomless bolt case, she had plenty of ammunition for her wristbow, even if she was still shaky from summoning the black fire. Not the best condition to be in when heading back into danger, but for List, she'd have hobbled back into the forest on two broken legs.

"You are a courageous and loyal woman," Jose said. "I hope you do not die."

"Thank you," Valerie said. She cast one last withering looking at Xigbar. "Come with me or don't, I don't care anymore. But if you don't, then I don't want to see you here when I come back."

With that, she turned and started off, back into the woods, back in the direction of the flames and Agnizzar and gods knew what else. 

Xigbar watched her go for a bit, taking in the steadfast determination in her every step, her words to him echoing in his read, resonating with something Larian Masters had said to him.

Xigbar knew with absolute certainty that if he had been the one to go over the cliff's edge, nobody would have gone back for him. But for the first time, he truly felt there was an explanation beyond a general understanding that people were shit and couldn't be trusted.

Because Valerie was going back for List and Kaleb. When she said that List or Kaleb would have gone for her, Xigbar had realized that he believed that. For the first time, he truly felt the separation between himself and everyone else, and found that he wasn't proud of it. It was as if he'd spent all his time on Xykesh standing outside a party looking in through a window, and only now that Valerie had thrown that in his face did he realize that he wanted to be inside, because even if everyone at the party was lame, it was warm inside, and everybody inside was so much less likely to die.

Begrudgingly, Xigbar accepted that if he actually did want inside, he was going to have to give them a reason to invite him in. And there was only one way to do that.

Kiva had been glaring at his back from the moment Valerie had started walking, no doubt intent on telling Xigbar to fuck off if he even tried to stick around. For a brief instant, he considered using his armband to get the drop on her and Jose, robbing them blind, and making his own way.

Then he sighed, and, with his shoulders slumped in defeat, trotted off to catch up to Valerie.