Character Playlist: Phoenix

Character art by Mr. K.

For everybody who hadn’t already pieced it together from the fact that we share a nickname: Phoenix is arguably the Starbreaker most personal to me. I don’t consider him a self-insert, but I fully concede that out of all the characters, he was the one who most directly inherited all of the anxieties and frustrations that drove me to write They Met in a Tavern in the first place, along with some of my more neuro tendencies.

As I was wrapping up my time in college, I was struck by a profound sense that I’d made big mistakes that had wasted all the opportunities life had given me, and that I’d lost parts of myself I used to be proud of. I wanted to go back, be my younger self—not just for the do over, but because I thought he had qualities that I now lacked.

It took a lot of self reflection to sort those feelings out, but eventually I did, and I have both Phoenix and this book to thank for that.

“Carry On Wayward Son” — Kansas

Flying too close to the sun, crashing and burning in that spectacular way that can only happen when you thought you had it all figured out. That’s Phoenix’s starting point as a character, but equal integral to him is the idea that once you hit that point, you have to keep going, keep moving, and try to come out the other side. In other words, carry on, my wayward son.

I swear I have never even seen a single episode of Supernatural.

“The Good Old Days (feat. Kesha)” — Mackelmore, Kesha

Even though I think “Carry On Wayward Son” works better as Phoenix’s theme song—it encapsulates more of who he is as a character—this is the song that birthed him. This song right here, playing as I looked out over my dorm’s balcony at the place I’d called home for the last four years, was what really got the ball on this whole enterprise rolling.

“Sinners” — Barns Courtney

I must be good for something.

“Superman” — Lazlo Bane

I sometimes think of Phoenix as the Batman of the Starbreakers, in that he is a normal dude standing shoulder to shoulder with people who are practically forces of nature, and he’s just doing his best.

“It’s No Good (2007 Remaster)” — Depeche Mode

The spellforger at work, taking apart something foreign and tinkering away at it to make it his own. You can thank the Aquaman movie for me only being able to hear this song as workshop music.

“High Hopes” — Panic! At The Disco

There’s a lot of angst in this playlist and this man in general, so for balance purposes here’s a throwback to the kid Phoenix used to be, who read stories of adventurers of old and got stars in his eyes.

“Ready or Not” — WAR*HALL

The thing about ass-kicking songs that differentiate them from normal fight songs (for my purposes anyway) is the assumption that the character is up against people who they thoroughly outclass. And in that scenario, Phoenix will always exude “taking kids to school” energy.

I imagine something like Harry’s “Manners maketh man,” fight from Kingsman.

“Come and Go” — Juice WRLD & Marshmello

Well, third time is the charm.

“Iris” — The Goo Goo Dolls

I am coming dangerously close to giving away just how much of my brain is still dominated by my experiences of the early 2000s, but screw it. Sometimes, you just have to break down sobbing into the arms of someone who loves you and hope they’ll hold you together.

“How You Remind Me” — Nickelback

Phoenix is at his best when he’s not alone. He needs people to call him on his bullshit, and point out his mistakes so he can learn from them.

Mock me all you want, I have Deadpool on my side.

I would’ve included “Photograph” too if it weren’t for my one song per artist rule.

Phoenix is part of the main cast of my novel, They Met in a Tavern, available now from your favorite book retailers, probably. I mean, it’s available from a lot of places, but I don’t know your life.